February 10, 2010

By Teri Evans
Who’s better off in business: the single entrepreneur with an unlimited supply of midnight oil to burn or the married entrepreneur with obvious time limitations, but also the support of a loving spouse and family?

Entrepreneurs are often categorized as intense visionaries who sleep little and cheerily work around the clock to be successful. One could assume that being single would then automatically help your business. But is that really true?

A 2009 Kauffman Foundation report, “Anatomy of an Entrepreneur,” found the stereotypical image of the single, free-wheeling entrepreneur may not be the norm. The Kansas City, Mo.-based nonprofit group surveyed 549 company founders across a variety of industries and found nearly 70% percent were married when they launched their first business, about 60% had at least one child, and almost 44% percent had two or more children.

So, who’s better off in business: the single entrepreneur with an unlimited supply of midnight oil to burn or the married entrepreneur with obvious time limitations, but also the support of a loving spouse and family?
“I think there are benefits either way, but they’re different,” said Melinda Carlisle Brackett, a San Jose, Calif-based therapist and business coach who works with entrepreneurs.

Here, a look at how being single or married can give you an edge when it comes to three important aspects of living a successful entrepreneurial life.

Flexibility
Who has the edge? Single entrepreneurs

“A single entrepreneur has the benefit of not stressing out about getting home to take care of building a relationship,” Brackett said. “They may date, but it doesn’t really take the same sort of energy.”
For example, having the flexibility to attend networking events in the evenings, while married entrepreneurs may not be able to, can certainly offer an advantage when it comes to growing a business. If your industry also requires constant travel, the flexibility of being able to hop on a plane at a moment’s notice can also offer an edge to the single entrepreneur.

“There are also some industries where going out and partying is more important than being perceived as stable,” said Meredith Haberfeld, a New York-based business coach, who works with many single and married entrepreneurs. “As a generalization, in more traditional professions, having a spouse can make you appear more stable to your peers, but in newer fields like new media or entertainment, being able to stay out late can be a benefit.”

Work-Life Balance
Who has the edge? Married entrepreneurs

Finding ways to balance work and family is often top of mind for married entrepreneurs because they grapple with it on a daily basis, while single entrepreneurs can — albeit unwittingly — shift their personal needs to the back burner.
“When you’re married, you’re always revisiting the priorities, asking yourself: ‘What am I doing this for? What’s the long-term goal?’” Brackett said. “That’s a benefit because it forces you to make choices you’re probably going to be happy with in the long run.”

To be sure, married business owners are also left wondering if their business is suffering because they need to spend more time working. Still, experts agree that finding some semblance of balance between work and play is critical for any business owner. Of course, that’s not to say single entrepreneurs don’t think at all about long-term goals, they’re just not necessarily forced to face them every day.

“The biggest mistake single entrepreneurs make is not planning for the day when they’re not going to want to keep that same pace, and I think there’s a price to be paid for that,” Brackett said. “They may be on top of their game, making money, and believe in their business, but not having that balance can create a ton of stress.”

Haberfeld suggests forcing yourself to sit down and put your priorities on paper, instead of always being guided by the squeakiest wheel.

“Then, structure your time each week to be in alignment with those priorities, and follow the plan,” Haberfeld said. “The balance is within one’s reach, but for some it’s a skill that has to be learned.”

Time & Energy
Who has the edge? Single entrepreneurs

“A single entrepreneur has more available time and energy to throw toward their business, and I think that unquestionably contributes to the success and thriving of a venture,” Haberfeld said.

On the other hand, being in a loving relationship can bring an emotional high and there’s an energy and optimism that goes a long with it, according to Brackett. “When we’re feeling good and optimistic we tend to get past our fears about taking that next step in business because we don’t feel so isolated,” she said.

Whether you have a lot or a little time, experts say what’s most important to being a successful entrepreneur is knowing how to manage it.

“While it’s quite obvious how the needs of a family can cut into time, I see that issue get in the way of almost all the entrepreneurs I work with,” Haberfeld said. “Navigating one’s way through that is a big leveler of the field to making a successful entrepreneur.”

Career Transition, Career Choices

By Career Coach, Meredith Haberfeld

Whether you’re about to be dumped out of your current position or bored to screaming point by work that used to be gratifying, one way to stay ahead of the unsettling see-saw of a career transition is careful preparation.

Most people find life transitions intimidating, especially on the work front. But now is actually a prime time to lean toward the next fulfilling adventure in your career.

Here are 10 steps that will help get you where you want to be going:

1.    Stay in reality: You need a well thought-out financial plan for your transition, including the time frame by which you want to be in your next job, and how long you can freely explore without running low on funds.  Important: take the time to do the math up front.  If you have six months worth of financial padding then the plan has to accommodate being situated in a new job where your basic life needs are taken care of in that amount of time.  (That’s not to say you can’t pursue a parallel path if your savings are insufficient, of course, but you may have to stick with your current employer or find an interim position that pays the bills while continuing to work toward your goal.) Don’t be impatient, be strategic.

2.    Hone in: Do a brainstorming-around your ideal dream job to hone down career choices.

a. Write out the elements you like in your previous work (e.g. being with people, exercising leadership, doing email, etc).

b. What elements do you want in your career that you have not yet had in your day to day job or from your total experience of working?

c. What elements do you want to not have in your next career?

d. How much money are you committed to making?

e. What jobs have you loved? And for each one, write out:

1. what you loved about it

2. anything you didn’t love about it

f. What are all the careers you’ve thought of in the last 5 years?
(Don’t worry about whether or not you have a PhD.  People think insularly.  Your task here is to broaden your thinking.)

1. Then, go back and make a bulleted list of each of the career choices, defining what it is about each career choice that interests you.

Examples:  Veterinarian–the pleasure of healing, being with animals.
Interior Designer—tapping into my artistic side, creating beautiful things and settings, working with people.

Notice how this leads you to a list of your own VALUES in your work life.

Choose the top 5-8 of the career choices that are most important to you. Now you have your list of ‘deal-breaker’ VALUES that must be there for you in your next job.
Then you can brainstorm and begin a fact-hunting mission to develop a written list of the handful of jobs/career choices that are a match for your ‘deal-breaker’ list.

3.    Soak up information like a sponge: Talk to everyone appropriate (which will be more people than you first imagine) about your interest in transitioning your career.  Most people are chasing a mirage, and far too often they make career choices based on fantasy thinking or simply on poor information.  Also our relationship to work is inevitably altered as we grow and change—the average person often makes several career changes over the course of a lifetime.  So being informed about such an important next step is vital.

“Live research” allows you to hone in on the very real elements you want to move way from and gravitate to the ones that you find match your desires. Get the word out to the people you know about what you’re interested in pursuing and ask them specifically who they know that would be useful for you to speak with.  Find every opportunity you can to talk with people who are in the jobs or fields for career choices you’re considering.

This is one of the MOST CRITICAL elements of a successful career transition and to make the right career choices, yet it is the piece that is most often missing.  Not only does this process refine your decision making, but the ancillary benefit is that the very individuals you reach out to for your “live research” become a critical part of your network that ultimately parlays you into your next job and career.

4.    Talk to people:  Get away from the computer!  Through every phase of your entire transition, authentically cultivate relationships.  This is the single most powerful force leading to successful job transitions.  Nurture and expand your network of friends. Don’t come off like you’re only interested in selling yourself but be sincere, get on their radar screen by fostering a genuine connection.

Go to industry conferences, parties, cocktails, morning breakfasts; and create and develop relationships.  Ask not what others can do for you, but what you can do for them.  This reciprocity will have you be “top of mind” when the right opportunity presents itself.

5.    The art of re-positioning yourself: If some of your career choices are in a new industry, spend time getting extremely clear about your “portable value”.  Know and be able to concisely communicate your unique worth and just how your skills will benefit your future industry and new employer.   Practice succinctly articulating – in your ‘elevator pitch’, as well as your resume – how your distinctive talents, abilities, and accomplishments perfectly position you for what you’re seeking to do.  Every person’s experience can be re-packaged to meet the demands of a new industry.  Spending the time to do this right makes an enormous difference     between success and failure.

6.    Find your ROI:  When preparing to look for a job in a new industry, clarify and focus on the measurable contributions to the bottom-line result you’ve achieved for your former or current employers, and show how it can work anywhere. Present your significant skills and explain how you’re ready to out-compete even in another industry. Every time you are asked “What do you do or want to be doing?” answer this question instead, “Why should you pay my salary?”

7.    Action: Daily action is required. Create a strategic plan for your transition; with daily, weekly, and monthly goals.  Start with where you want to end up:  figure out what you need to know about your new career and each possible career choice, and what you need to do to get there. Build a pipeline of actions from there. Actions can be small; but be in motion.

8.    Build in accountability: Get a partner to hold you to your plan and keep your word, without regard for disappointments or your mood.  Ask people to champion you when you face set-backs, but to hold you accountable for sticking to your daily actions and driving yourself forward.  Too often people get bogged down by disappointments and then buy into in the belief that the work world is too tough right now.  Daily actions that stretch you, and maintaining accountability to your plan not only reduce overwhelm and anxiety, they’re a powerful impetus to get you to your ultimate goal.

9.    Momentum: There is an “effort equation” when starting something new; for example, for every 100 ‘units’ of effort you put in, you can expect 1 result.  As you gain momentum, this equation improves, to perhaps 1 result for only 50 ‘units’ of effort in.  This means…play…put the energy in.  If you’re impatient, you may get discouraged by not seeing the results as quickly as you want.  But it is mathematical.  Put the energy in, consistently, no matter what, and the results start flowing in.

10.    Courage: When setting out to do something different you may have a crisis of confidence; a feeling like “I am a charlatan” or “There’s no way I can pull this off!”  There is often a period of time when you are gaining credibility within yourself.  Have patience during this phase and know this period is finite.  In the mean time, fake it.  Don’t be wishy-washy: when introducing yourself – statements like “I’m trying to be an author” or “I’m sort of working on becoming a therapist” sabotage you.   Get in the habit of saying, “I’m a writer” or “I’m a chef”.  Hear yourself say the words–listen to what you are and be proud. Once you get your feet under you for long enough, your this turns to genuine confidence.

A final note: The days of linear careers are over.  Be pragmatic; take all your differing agendas into account, including how much you need to be making, what you love and hate doing, the legacy you want to leave, the transition time you have available for making a career move.  This will help you make the right career choices.

When you finally free up your thinking and accept that reality and desire can be accounted for – you discover so much more is possible – and you get to real actionable answers.  Now it becomes a matter of breaking up the transition into ‘Lego pieces’; individual manageable blocks that build on one other to get you out of your head and into action, and in the direction you want to take.  The horizon then becomes limitless.

To contact Meredith, click here on Contact Page or call 866-599-6535.

Meredith Haberfeld
January 2009
Meredith Haberfeld

Oh, no, it’s the “R” word! Currently heard and seen everywhere. Call it what you will — recession, slump, downturn, it has everybody edgy and fearing the worst.

It doesn’t help that we’re bombarded with messages that promote financial and job insecurity. The media thrives on perpetuating anxiety and fear. C-R-I-S-I-S.

How do we ride the wave when it seems the customary trappings of our lives may be at risk?

A good starting point is to embrace reality while understanding that the nature of your life is not static. The reality of today will not be the actuality of tomorrow or next week.

Tips for Tinkering with Happiness
Meet Challenges Head On
Meet challenges head on, not from a place of fear or intimidation but with clarity, daring, grace and innovation.
If there’s something real that you’re avoiding — or if there are eventualities you should plan for, take action to begin dealing with them today. Even if it’s just a small action. Get in action.
If you’re dwelling on your fear of what might happen in the future, bring yourself back to the present and deal with what is before you — head on. When we get lost in what should have happened (past) or what we fear will happen (future) — we spoil the only place we are actually experiencing life — right now, this moment. Come vacation here in the present, it’s nice.
Accept Uncertainty and Change
Wish as we might, we don’t live in a static and unchanging world. Change is the constant. And we human beings don’t generally do that well with change. We find it upsetting. But the truth is, everything about life is uncertain, so we may as well embrace it.

Choose Wisely
How you deal with difficulties is a choice. Your choice. You may resent that, it may even stump or anger you, but it’s the truth. Choose carefully what you’re focused on. Are you replaying bad possible future scenarios in your mind? Do you choose words like “terrible” or “crisis” (instead of, for example “wild”, “volatile” and “uncertain”)? Are you fixated on re-circulating thoughts of possibly losing your job? Are you spending your day staring at the stock market on the computer and feeling terrible? If it’s not leading to positive action, and it feels bad, cut it out. How you deal with anything is YOUR choice.
Choose carefully how you’re framing facts, and what conversations you’re spending time in. If you’re having trouble with this, get help.

Let Go of Your Crummy Stories
Happy or sad or cold or warm are all different points on the graph of life. What’s so bad about feeling? If you don’t attach a big old story to it, feelings come and then go. Sad, scared, happy. Where we get into trouble is making up stories (that we think are capital “T” True) and sticking them onto the feeling — “this is terrible”, “we won’t be okay,” “I should have known better.” It’s the story you latch onto the feeling that’s the problem. Announcement: your stories are just your interpretation. They are not capital “T” True. You could loosen your grip on them. If you just let the feeling come and go and don’t attach a story to it, it washes right through. Practice this — it enables you to take effective action — and it works miracles.

Have Fun Even While You’re on a Financial Diet
Have fun even while you’re tightening the belt. Write out what you’d love to be doing without regard for money and then identify what the underlying desire is. You can then start to discover ways to fulfill that desire with whatever is financially appropriate. For example, say you want to go to St. Barts…but given your bank account, this is just not the year for that. Take a look past the specifics for the underlying desire, in this case, for example it may be to relax, let go of your daily concerns and to unwind. Then look for how else that desire can be met within your current budget and realities; maybe it’s asking a friend if you and your family can stay at their country cabin an hour away for a weekend, or negotiating with your spouse a day of an upcoming weekend that you can be “off duty” and use that day to do whatever pleases you. You do not have to deprive yourself of fun and things you love just because you’re on a financial diet. Stretch your brain just a little — you’ll discover whatever the underlying longing — you can fulfill it completely with less mullah.

Don’t Play in the Dirt
Nurture your friendships; and choose them carefully. Share fun and play, but don’t fan the flames of anxiety. Listen, give back, be a good ally. If you have people around you dwelling in doomsday thinking, be compassionate that this is where they are in this moment, even offer up a different perspective if you like, but don’t hang out and play in that mudpit. That mud ends up all over you.

Thanksgiving Ain’t Over
Real gratitude and appreciation for all we do have is a major contributor to peace of mind. And I’m not talking about a fake nod in this direction. Be grateful for what you can actually be grateful for. Kiss your difficulties on both cheeks! Use their sharp edge to get you off your keister and leave a thank you note for past experiences, for the journey from there to now.

Move Your Bod
Strengthen yourself physically, play ball, chase the dog, dance with a child, do whatever it takes to get your energy moving in ways that delight you and give you flexibility and endurance. The challenges you may face are better dealt with when you’re feeling at your physical best.

Take a Walk
Get out in Nature. It’s no cliche that green spaces calm and nurture. They also inform. Trees exist within their cycles, budding, blossoming and leaf dropping, nothing is lost. Wall Street might disdain such a simple lesson but you can gain from it when you realize that abundance ebbs and flows but is always present, always operating on a natural principle of plenty.

Invest
Nurture and sustain yourself. Don’t let the turbulence out there make you feel impoverished and helpless. Make other investments elsewhere, such as in the emotional and spiritual parts of your life. Be anchored to the sacred (whatever you perceive that to be). Pray, meditate, be still in good solitude that you might connect to yourself in deep and powerful ways.

Remember:
1. The sky is not falling. Yes, the economy is wild, and the world is uncertain. The truth is there is nothing so terrible about an uncertain world. When you peel back the veil, that’s actually the very nature of life.
2. Misery can paralyze and drain you, and not only in difficult times. You are always choosing your interpretation of what’s happening and what it’s going to mean to you.
3. Stop wishing and hoping things were different. They’re not. Choose a helpful view of reality and deal with it.
4. The reality of today will not be the actuality of tomorrow or next week.
When you are fretting and fearful, you are living in an imagined world of a bad possible future; railing against the human ail of not being able to control everything. When you stay in R-E-A-L-I-T-Y about what is happening in the moment, you’ll notice the present is actually survivable, even if it is not what you want.

But you can then think clearly, sleep soundly, and create powerful action.

Meredith is a Life Coach and co-founder of Meredith Haberfeld Coaching and The Institute for Coaching.

“Work your tail off,” keep a high profile, and find a mentor, veteran job coaches say

By Carl Winfield

August 4, 2008

These are uncertain times for the U.S. labor market. Companies such as Merrill Lynch ( MER ), Sony ( SNE ) and Alcatel-Lucent ( ALU ), which have either posted losses or greatly diminished profits, are cutting staff as financial pressures mount. And while the U.S. unemployment rate has held steady at 5.5% for the last two months, there are no guarantees that workers—especially those between ages 50 and 60—will be able to avoid further cutbacks.

This does not mean older employees should start looking for positions at the local Wal-Mart ( WMT ) or the neighborhood car wash. Many have experience and knowledge they can leverage to keep their jobs. But with staffing budgets increasingly under scrutiny, it may pay to be proactive. The first and most important move workers should make: Look for new experiences with their current employer.

“People like to do what they’re good at,” says Melaine Kusin, vice-chairman at Heidrick & Struggles ( HSII ). “But it’s just as important to volunteer for special projects and develop skills that can be applied to other parts of the business.”

“Be Visible”

Employees can raise their profiles when they make the effort to join special committees or even help organize a companywide social engagement. “Conventional wisdom may say that you should keep your head down, especially during an economic downturn” says Meredith Haberfeld , an executive coach in New York whose clients include Credit Suisse ( CS ) and JPMorgan Chase ( JPM ). “But my suggestion is that you work your tail off to be visible about the results you’re producing.” Haberfeld also suggests executives toot their own horns.

But other consultants, such as New York-based Dale Kurow, advise executives to be careful about what they say in the workplace. “You want to be the ’squeaky wheel’ in the sense that you’re proactive,” Kurow says. “But if you complain, you’re probably going to be the first one out the door.”

Becoming the life of the party may be a good way to call attention to yourself but, once all eyes are on you, workers have to put up or get shut out. The best way for executives to keep their jobs or move to the next level is to develop an understanding of the whole business, rather than the part that relates only to them.

“You need to take the lid off your thinking and take a look at how what you do relates to the rest of the business,” says Kurow. “If you don’t know how your part in the business is connected to the others, chances are you’re not going very far.”

Cultivate a Mentor

Workers who are more engaged with the day-to-day operations at their companies have a distinct advantage over those clock-punchers who focus solely on the tasks in their job descriptions. But staying in a job is also about building relationships. While it’s advisable to work well with your peers, it never hurts to develop a close relationship with a mentor, particularly with someone higher up who can help keep you out of harm’s way when the axman cometh.

“Partner with the CEO,” says Ana Dutra , CEO of the Leadership Development Solutions group for Korn/Ferry International ( KFY ), “and with the corporate leadership.”

The job market is getting tougher to negotiate for workers in all age groups. But according to coaches like Haberfeld , you can keep your job as long as you don’t mind maintaining a high profile. Establishing yourself as a leader could make the difference between moving up or being moved out.

“The main element in your career plan has to change from doing what you have to do to impress your superiors to doing what you have to do to impress yourself,” says Haberfeld .

July 11, 2008
By Kristina Cooke and Julie Haviv

When Lindsay North started working at Lehman Brothers 11 years ago she never expected that in her 40s she would be unemployed and networking nonstop.

But, as is the case with tens of thousands of others who have been laid off as a result of Wall Street’s turmoil, that is exactly how things panned out.

Being laid off in middle age can be devastating. But for some, like North, it is an opportunity to take stock of their lives, re-open old avenues or try something new.

“I’m really reassessing what I want to do with my life — and I have the time now to meet lots of different people outside my field,” North said. “It’s got me back to a lot of things I’ve been interested in for years but never got around to following up on.”

She is pursuing interests that she had when she was a student at the London School of Economics in the early 80s, such as social ventures and environmentalism.

But she is adamant not to let her experience in lehm real estate division fall by the wayside, perhaps going into environmental architecture.

“Maybe I would have got around to pursuing this eventually, but I have to take this chance now to really go for it,” she said.

Searching for employment at any age is tough, but for those over 40 it can be even more daunting, especially for those saddled with a mortgage and children’s tuition fees.

“After a while, you don’t want to be a novice in a field and people expect you to have a certain amount of expertise the older you are. Being a novice is harder the older you get,” North said.

Looking Around

North’s old firm, Lehman, is among the financial firms that have taken the biggest hit in the fallout from the U.S. mortgage crisis.

The financial sector as a whole has announced 85,258 job cuts so far this year, the most of any industry, according to a recent report by global outplacement consultancy Challenger, Gray & Christmas.

As a result, people are turning to some unusual places for help.

Colleges are reporting an increase in the number of financial industry professionals over 40 who have been getting back in touch, some of whom are wanting to change careers to be doctors, lawyers or teachers.

“The issue, though, is that the financial world puts these golden handcuffs on people and it is hard to go from $250,000 or more to being an English teacher for $80,000 or not even that,” said an alumni relations officer at a major U.S. college. She spoke on condition of anonymity, citing alumni privacy.

Attendance for career-oriented courses at a popular community and cultural center on the Upper East Side of Manhattan — an area where many Wall Street professionals live — has jumped 21 percent in the past year.

“Our adult education programs and personal growth lectures have become extremely popular,” said David Jacobson, adult education program associate at the 92nd Street Y, a community center, adding that attendees tended to be the 40-plus crowd.

The class “Ace Every Interview” sold out last month and another is on its fall schedule, Jacobson said.

Jumping Ship

Not everyone is waiting to be laid off.

After 12 years working in a mostly booming industry, Kevin Callaghan, 52, quit his job in commercial mortgage-backed securities at Barclays Capital in New York, to do an MBA in China.

“Rather than stay in an uncertain business environment and accept the almost-certain major hit to my compensation for the next few years, I decided that it was a better use of my time to sit out the rest of this downward spiral and try to retool myself over the next few years,” he said in an e-mail.

“Worst case is that I end up back in the U.S. in 18 months, well rested and ready to enter what I hope will be a better job market.”

For middle-aged people on Wall Street who experienced the stock market crash in 1987, the current round of job cuts is deja vu.

Right Management in New York, an outplacement firm that works with nearly every Wall Street firm, is seeing an influx of candidates from many of the largest institutions, the same as in 1987.

“What is different now, however, is that a large proportion of people have been through this before or know people who have been through this, so they have benchmarks to make a comparison,” said Edward Witherell, Right Management’s market vice president. “Fewer are panicking.”

Meredith Haberfeld, a life coach whose clients are at large banks like Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley as well as smaller boutique firms, said few respond well to forced change such as a layoff.

Years later, however, “people have usually found and recognized benefits of even the moves they were forced to make.”

North said she is taking her time and looking for the right thing. And, while she liked her job at Lehman, she is in no hurry to return to the financial industry.

“The deals are a lot slower at the moment and so you’re not doing the same thing anymore. It’s much more fun to do when you’re sort of winning.”

(Reuters)