Life Coach Meredith Haberfeld Reveals 6 Ways to Increase Your Appeal
By Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Life coach and relationship expert Meredith Haberfeld shares six easy, effective ways to be a beautiful woman – and none involve losing weight or cosmetic surgery.
These six qualities of an attractive woman not only make you more appealing to others, they also help you get in touch with your personality traits and best self. Life coach Meredith Haberfeld shares her professional expertise on what really makes a woman beautiful.
The Qualities of a Beautiful Woman
1) Be true to yourself.
Being okay with who you are makes you a more appealing woman. Meredith shares the story of Belinda, who tried for 20 years to be the person she thought any given boyfriend of hers wanted her to be only to have each relationship ultimately fizzle, to her disappointment. It was only when Sherry was 40 that she gave up trying to shape herself for someone else. She finally took the risk of losing the guy she was starting to date – by being herself and she finally fell in love and is at last in a beautiful marriage.
This is common, says Meredith. I’ve run into the same theme repeatedly. And it’s just a simple moral – let your true self shine. Be the person you are when you’re with the people you feel most comfortable with and you like yourself best. That’s the person you love to be. When you are that person, your genuine self, your light shines, which is sexy.
2) Find a balance of power
Intelligence and power are two qualities of a beautiful woman, says Meredith. “I’ve worked with many women who believe their success or intellect is intimidating to men. I’ve even had clients share that they’ve taken to dumbing-down and smiling and giggling because they think that’s more appealing to men,” she says. She cites a recent study from the University of Wisconsin that found men find powerful women sexy.
This doesn’t mean we should be dominating. Let men have their power too. That’s critical. Men don’t get over wanting to be your hero, and that’s delicious, says Meredith. They’re at their best when you allow them to love your power and still let them be your knight in shining armor. And as a bonus, giving that to a man without faking enhances their enchantment with you.
3) Take time to feel beautiful
Getting enough rest and wearing clothes that make you feel beautiful will increase your appeal. Before you go out, take a bubble bath with candles, or put on music and have a glass of wine while you get ready. Make it playful and sweet for yourself because that feeling comes right through. Even when you leave your house each morning for work, take a few extra moments to massage on some body lotion and spray on the perfume you love.
Those stolen moments pay off with the nods you get from men in the street, Meredith says. The extra investment you devote to yourself to feel beautiful which for some women can be difficult is connected to allowing yourself to feel your beauty. Inhabit your body (instead of hauling it around). Express yourself through your body. Get physical with dancing, yoga, or exercise.
4) Make necessary changes
If you’ve been tolerating something that has you feel less than your best, invest in doing something about it. For example, if you’ve been insecure about your teeth for years, set a date to finally get them fixed. Start saving for it, and then do it. If your wardrobe is worn out or a little frumpy, find someone with great style who understands your budget and your spirit, and who will help you dress to play up your best physical qualities and look great. These actions will increase your appeal amd make you feel like your best self.
But far more important is that they will open up an important part of you. Often we tolerate something because it keeps a belief we have about ourselves in place, which may be sad or even painful, but also feels safe, says Meredith. When you stop tolerating what has you feel less than at your best, and invest in doing something about it, the resulting feeling shows all over you.
5) Make a smile part of your day
Smiling goes far, Meredith says, and it’s beautifully simple. It is a delight for people to receive your smile, and it’s a gift that often pays you too. Try walking down the street and offering a passing gentleman a smile. You may find that was just the opening he needed to nod his recognition of your beauty. It may sound too simple to be true, but it’s not. “Women are walking around missing the affirming (and safe) delight men take in their beauty. Offer smiles for three days, and see what you start to notice,” says Meredith. This may be the easiest way to increase your appeal.
6) Learn how to flirt
When you express the playful aspect of your femininity, it’s charming like a spell that makes life more fun. Let your playfulness, sensuality and sexuality out. Men will describe this as sexy, no matter what a woman is wearing. Flirting attracts attention and physical affection, which increases your appeal.
Be inviting without being aggressive, says Meredith. When a woman expresses this special feminine energy, men respond by wanting to become involved with her.
Meredith’s qualities of an attractive woman are not only effective; they’ll help you discover your best self.