February 10, 2010

By Teri Evans
Who’s better off in business: the single entrepreneur with an unlimited supply of midnight oil to burn or the married entrepreneur with obvious time limitations, but also the support of a loving spouse and family?

Entrepreneurs are often categorized as intense visionaries who sleep little and cheerily work around the clock to be successful. One could assume that being single would then automatically help your business. But is that really true?

A 2009 Kauffman Foundation report, “Anatomy of an Entrepreneur,” found the stereotypical image of the single, free-wheeling entrepreneur may not be the norm. The Kansas City, Mo.-based nonprofit group surveyed 549 company founders across a variety of industries and found nearly 70% percent were married when they launched their first business, about 60% had at least one child, and almost 44% percent had two or more children.

So, who’s better off in business: the single entrepreneur with an unlimited supply of midnight oil to burn or the married entrepreneur with obvious time limitations, but also the support of a loving spouse and family?
“I think there are benefits either way, but they’re different,” said Melinda Carlisle Brackett, a San Jose, Calif-based therapist and business coach who works with entrepreneurs.

Here, a look at how being single or married can give you an edge when it comes to three important aspects of living a successful entrepreneurial life.

Flexibility
Who has the edge? Single entrepreneurs

“A single entrepreneur has the benefit of not stressing out about getting home to take care of building a relationship,” Brackett said. “They may date, but it doesn’t really take the same sort of energy.”
For example, having the flexibility to attend networking events in the evenings, while married entrepreneurs may not be able to, can certainly offer an advantage when it comes to growing a business. If your industry also requires constant travel, the flexibility of being able to hop on a plane at a moment’s notice can also offer an edge to the single entrepreneur.

“There are also some industries where going out and partying is more important than being perceived as stable,” said Meredith Haberfeld, a New York-based business coach, who works with many single and married entrepreneurs. “As a generalization, in more traditional professions, having a spouse can make you appear more stable to your peers, but in newer fields like new media or entertainment, being able to stay out late can be a benefit.”

Work-Life Balance
Who has the edge? Married entrepreneurs

Finding ways to balance work and family is often top of mind for married entrepreneurs because they grapple with it on a daily basis, while single entrepreneurs can — albeit unwittingly — shift their personal needs to the back burner.
“When you’re married, you’re always revisiting the priorities, asking yourself: ‘What am I doing this for? What’s the long-term goal?’” Brackett said. “That’s a benefit because it forces you to make choices you’re probably going to be happy with in the long run.”

To be sure, married business owners are also left wondering if their business is suffering because they need to spend more time working. Still, experts agree that finding some semblance of balance between work and play is critical for any business owner. Of course, that’s not to say single entrepreneurs don’t think at all about long-term goals, they’re just not necessarily forced to face them every day.

“The biggest mistake single entrepreneurs make is not planning for the day when they’re not going to want to keep that same pace, and I think there’s a price to be paid for that,” Brackett said. “They may be on top of their game, making money, and believe in their business, but not having that balance can create a ton of stress.”

Haberfeld suggests forcing yourself to sit down and put your priorities on paper, instead of always being guided by the squeakiest wheel.

“Then, structure your time each week to be in alignment with those priorities, and follow the plan,” Haberfeld said. “The balance is within one’s reach, but for some it’s a skill that has to be learned.”

Time & Energy
Who has the edge? Single entrepreneurs

“A single entrepreneur has more available time and energy to throw toward their business, and I think that unquestionably contributes to the success and thriving of a venture,” Haberfeld said.

On the other hand, being in a loving relationship can bring an emotional high and there’s an energy and optimism that goes a long with it, according to Brackett. “When we’re feeling good and optimistic we tend to get past our fears about taking that next step in business because we don’t feel so isolated,” she said.

Whether you have a lot or a little time, experts say what’s most important to being a successful entrepreneur is knowing how to manage it.

“While it’s quite obvious how the needs of a family can cut into time, I see that issue get in the way of almost all the entrepreneurs I work with,” Haberfeld said. “Navigating one’s way through that is a big leveler of the field to making a successful entrepreneur.”

Robyn Moreno

July 2009

In this economy, many people are just focused on getting (or keeping) a job – dropping their hopes of opening a business or landing a job they really enjoy. But we don’t have to “get caught up in the panic or settle for work we don’t like”, says Meredith Haberfeld a Career Coach and co-founder of the Institute for Coaching. Meredith sat down with me and shared the three ways people can get their dream jobs.

RM: In this economy, is going for your “dream job” still a realistic goal?

MH: Rather than focus on the job they want, people should first focus on what they want out of their “dream” job.

They should ask themselves questions like: “What do I love doing all day? Is it talking to people, being outdoors? What kind of people do I want to work with? What do I definitely not want to be doing – working for corporate America, staring at a computer all day? How much money am I committed to making?
To help be specific, people should write down the aspects of their dream jobs that really excite them. So if your dream job is to be a veterinarian, then the draw might be working with animals. Or if it’s being an interior designer, is it being creative and working in a beautiful a setting that attracts you? Once you’ve answered those questions, you have your “deal breaker list of professional values.”

And with that list you can check to see if it matches your “dream” job. Often people find that the occupation they thought they wanted (probably because it sounded fun or sexy) doesn’t quite match, while other jobs they hadn’t even considered now make sense. So in that way, you have really widened your net, creating many more job opportunities.

RM: OK, so now that I’ve expanded my job horizons, what’s next?

MH: Next is what I call the “Live Research Phase.” Start talking to people who have jobs in the industry you’re considering and find out what it’s really like. You can do this by contacting friends, family, people in your community or even sites like Facebook or LinkedIn. You’ll be shocked at how much people actually want to help you.
So once you get on the phone or in a meeting with someone who’s in the field you’re interested in, find out what that world is really like. Ask them what they love and what they hate about their job. Ask them what are the things they thought that career was going to be like that it’s not, and what things do they like about it that they never expected. And just straight ask them for advice. You’ll find that after these conversations, more careers will be crossed off your list, while others might emerge.

What’s really great about this process is that you’ll find that the network you developed in this “research phase” is the same network that parlays you into the next job.

RM: So now I have a good understanding of my dream job, what’s next?

MH: The final piece is to understand the “Momentum Equation.” The “momentum equation” is that it takes a lot of energy to produce a new result. So it might take 100 units of energy to yield ONE positive result. For instance, you might spend weeks sending out resumes, responding to ads, writing cover letters, etc., and might just get one response. This is where many people get stuck. The name of the game here is to understand and be prepared that things might be slow going. It’s ok to be disappointed, call up a friend and biotch or whatever you need to do. But the important thing is to not give up, because the equation will change.
Soon it will only take 50 units of energy to yield one result, and eventually even less. It is building and keeping this momentum that will make the difference in your career, because even in this difficult economy everyday people are getting jobs they love. And so can you.

Meredith Haberfeld is an executive coach who’s guided entrepreneurs and leading executives from institutions such as Johns Hopkins University, Forbes, JP Morgan Chase, Credit Suisse, FuseTV and the World Health Organization. She also works as a life coach for assisting individuals, couples, and families in designing and living extraordinary lives.

May 4, 2008
By Matt Reeder

So, you’re one of the lucky ones. Name on your office door. Extra-glossy business cards. A bit of seniority.
Think again.

While recent MBA grads prowling for work face the unenviable task of breaking into the financial ranks for the first time (gasp!), the barrage of layoffs that’s spread into the upper ranks of the industry in recent months shows that title-toting execs face a formidable challenge of their own – protecting their hides. The recession’s official, more jobs will be cut and there’s no reason to assume your’s won’t be one of them.

With such rosy thoughts in mind, the folks over at BusinessWeek put together a helpful video detailing some of the practical steps you can take to protect your job. One suggestion, courtesy of executive coach Meredith Haberfeld, is to throw conventional wisdom out the window.

Keeping a low profile during tough times, she says, does nothing to secure your future. “Work your tail off,” she insists.”But make your successes and results visible. Not empty results.” She also suggests you find ways to show you care about the company’s bottom line, not just your own.

Elsewhere, the Harvard Business Review offers slightly less selfless advice. “Machiavellian as it may seem, holding on to your job when the economy softens is a matter of cool strategic planning,” write Janet Banks and Diane Coutu. And in addition to thinking like a survivor, they, too, encourage old-fashioned hard work. “If you’re not already wearing multiple hats, start imagining how you can support your company by leveraging experience your boss may know nothing about.”