Robyn Moreno

July 2009

In this economy, many people are just focused on getting (or keeping) a job – dropping their hopes of opening a business or landing a job they really enjoy. But we don’t have to “get caught up in the panic or settle for work we don’t like”, says Meredith Haberfeld a Career Coach and co-founder of the Institute for Coaching. Meredith sat down with me and shared the three ways people can get their dream jobs.

RM: In this economy, is going for your “dream job” still a realistic goal?

MH: Rather than focus on the job they want, people should first focus on what they want out of their “dream” job.

They should ask themselves questions like: “What do I love doing all day? Is it talking to people, being outdoors? What kind of people do I want to work with? What do I definitely not want to be doing – working for corporate America, staring at a computer all day? How much money am I committed to making?
To help be specific, people should write down the aspects of their dream jobs that really excite them. So if your dream job is to be a veterinarian, then the draw might be working with animals. Or if it’s being an interior designer, is it being creative and working in a beautiful a setting that attracts you? Once you’ve answered those questions, you have your “deal breaker list of professional values.”

And with that list you can check to see if it matches your “dream” job. Often people find that the occupation they thought they wanted (probably because it sounded fun or sexy) doesn’t quite match, while other jobs they hadn’t even considered now make sense. So in that way, you have really widened your net, creating many more job opportunities.

RM: OK, so now that I’ve expanded my job horizons, what’s next?

MH: Next is what I call the “Live Research Phase.” Start talking to people who have jobs in the industry you’re considering and find out what it’s really like. You can do this by contacting friends, family, people in your community or even sites like Facebook or LinkedIn. You’ll be shocked at how much people actually want to help you.
So once you get on the phone or in a meeting with someone who’s in the field you’re interested in, find out what that world is really like. Ask them what they love and what they hate about their job. Ask them what are the things they thought that career was going to be like that it’s not, and what things do they like about it that they never expected. And just straight ask them for advice. You’ll find that after these conversations, more careers will be crossed off your list, while others might emerge.

What’s really great about this process is that you’ll find that the network you developed in this “research phase” is the same network that parlays you into the next job.

RM: So now I have a good understanding of my dream job, what’s next?

MH: The final piece is to understand the “Momentum Equation.” The “momentum equation” is that it takes a lot of energy to produce a new result. So it might take 100 units of energy to yield ONE positive result. For instance, you might spend weeks sending out resumes, responding to ads, writing cover letters, etc., and might just get one response. This is where many people get stuck. The name of the game here is to understand and be prepared that things might be slow going. It’s ok to be disappointed, call up a friend and biotch or whatever you need to do. But the important thing is to not give up, because the equation will change.
Soon it will only take 50 units of energy to yield one result, and eventually even less. It is building and keeping this momentum that will make the difference in your career, because even in this difficult economy everyday people are getting jobs they love. And so can you.

Meredith Haberfeld is an executive coach who’s guided entrepreneurs and leading executives from institutions such as Johns Hopkins University, Forbes, JP Morgan Chase, Credit Suisse, FuseTV and the World Health Organization. She also works as a life coach for assisting individuals, couples, and families in designing and living extraordinary lives.

When Is It OK to Bad Mouth Your Job?
June 17, 2009
By Eleni Himaras

Having a bad boss or an awful job is one of the most frustrating situations there is. But is it ever acceptable, or beneficial, to vent such feelings in a professional setting?
The answer, unfortunately, is no.

“It reliably comes back and bites you, even if you think you’re speaking with someone who is ‘safe,’” says Meredith Haberfeld, the New York-based co-founder of Meredith Haberfeld Coaching and the Institute for Coaching.

Of course certain situations, such as exit interviews or questions from a new boss about your previous employer, are inevitable. It is possible to be honest and constructive at the same time, Haberfeld says.

1. Leave Emotions at the Door

Let the emotional aspect of the situation simmer before discussing it, says Haberfeld.

“Try as we might to be ‘professionals,’ we are also sentient beings and when our feelings are hurt, it has an impact, even in business,” she says. “Our feelings cloud our perspective, and our feedback is indisputably obscured by that.”
If the emotions aren’t cooling on their own, Haberfeld says to analyze the situation with the help of a friend or professional.

“If you notice you still feel an edge toward the place you left or are leaving, find someone to help you dismantle the story you’ve constructed about the place or the people,” she says. “This will lead you toward real insightful feedback about what worked and didn’t.”

If a question comes up in an exit interview that rubs against still raw emotions, Haberfeld says to qualify the answer by saying, “I know I’m hurt and upset, and my insights are probably not as accurate as they are going to be when I have a little distance from this.”

This response, she says, shows a level of maturity that will go a long way.

2. Keep it Short

If asked a direct question by a potential employer, Haberfeld says it is best to have a concise reply already practiced.
“It should be honest, balanced positive and negative to the former employer, and brief,” she says. “Practice this in advance so you can keep it simple and short.”

Sticking to this pared down response will keep the question from sticking out to your new boss. Candidates or employees who go into a full-blown rehashing of the ordeal typically come out looking worse than one who says very little.

“Most times, if you’re giving justifications or giving explanations for things that make someone else sound bad, it’s perceived that there was something negative going on that you aren’t being responsible for,” she says.
Every employer and company has some positive aspects, she reminds.

3. Vent Online, Carefully
Venting is healthy and necessary towards moving on, Haberfeld says. Thanks to the magic of the Internet, there are places to let frustrations fly.

LayOffMoveOn.com is a web site where the recently unemployed can share not only horror stories of his or her previous job, but the inspirational stories of getting past it. Chicago-based designer Jessica Lybeck founded the anonymous site after she was laid off from a part time position at an architecture firm.

“LayOffMoveOn is a blog cluster devoted to connecting people with tips to survive and thrive in this economy,” the site reads. “The conditions are tough…but DAMN we’re tougher.”

There are also generalized sites like JobVent.com that allow users to gripe by specific company or location.

Just remember that you may not be the only one scoping out these various web sites, so take a new twist on your mother’s advice: If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, make sure they can’t use the Internet to trace it back to you. Leave out identifying details about yourself or any specific situations, and definitely leave the names out of it. This is just a venting ground, not a place for public retribution.