February 10, 2010

By Teri Evans
Who’s better off in business: the single entrepreneur with an unlimited supply of midnight oil to burn or the married entrepreneur with obvious time limitations, but also the support of a loving spouse and family?

Entrepreneurs are often categorized as intense visionaries who sleep little and cheerily work around the clock to be successful. One could assume that being single would then automatically help your business. But is that really true?

A 2009 Kauffman Foundation report, “Anatomy of an Entrepreneur,” found the stereotypical image of the single, free-wheeling entrepreneur may not be the norm. The Kansas City, Mo.-based nonprofit group surveyed 549 company founders across a variety of industries and found nearly 70% percent were married when they launched their first business, about 60% had at least one child, and almost 44% percent had two or more children.

So, who’s better off in business: the single entrepreneur with an unlimited supply of midnight oil to burn or the married entrepreneur with obvious time limitations, but also the support of a loving spouse and family?
“I think there are benefits either way, but they’re different,” said Melinda Carlisle Brackett, a San Jose, Calif-based therapist and business coach who works with entrepreneurs.

Here, a look at how being single or married can give you an edge when it comes to three important aspects of living a successful entrepreneurial life.

Flexibility
Who has the edge? Single entrepreneurs

“A single entrepreneur has the benefit of not stressing out about getting home to take care of building a relationship,” Brackett said. “They may date, but it doesn’t really take the same sort of energy.”
For example, having the flexibility to attend networking events in the evenings, while married entrepreneurs may not be able to, can certainly offer an advantage when it comes to growing a business. If your industry also requires constant travel, the flexibility of being able to hop on a plane at a moment’s notice can also offer an edge to the single entrepreneur.

“There are also some industries where going out and partying is more important than being perceived as stable,” said Meredith Haberfeld, a New York-based business coach, who works with many single and married entrepreneurs. “As a generalization, in more traditional professions, having a spouse can make you appear more stable to your peers, but in newer fields like new media or entertainment, being able to stay out late can be a benefit.”

Work-Life Balance
Who has the edge? Married entrepreneurs

Finding ways to balance work and family is often top of mind for married entrepreneurs because they grapple with it on a daily basis, while single entrepreneurs can — albeit unwittingly — shift their personal needs to the back burner.
“When you’re married, you’re always revisiting the priorities, asking yourself: ‘What am I doing this for? What’s the long-term goal?’” Brackett said. “That’s a benefit because it forces you to make choices you’re probably going to be happy with in the long run.”

To be sure, married business owners are also left wondering if their business is suffering because they need to spend more time working. Still, experts agree that finding some semblance of balance between work and play is critical for any business owner. Of course, that’s not to say single entrepreneurs don’t think at all about long-term goals, they’re just not necessarily forced to face them every day.

“The biggest mistake single entrepreneurs make is not planning for the day when they’re not going to want to keep that same pace, and I think there’s a price to be paid for that,” Brackett said. “They may be on top of their game, making money, and believe in their business, but not having that balance can create a ton of stress.”

Haberfeld suggests forcing yourself to sit down and put your priorities on paper, instead of always being guided by the squeakiest wheel.

“Then, structure your time each week to be in alignment with those priorities, and follow the plan,” Haberfeld said. “The balance is within one’s reach, but for some it’s a skill that has to be learned.”

Time & Energy
Who has the edge? Single entrepreneurs

“A single entrepreneur has more available time and energy to throw toward their business, and I think that unquestionably contributes to the success and thriving of a venture,” Haberfeld said.

On the other hand, being in a loving relationship can bring an emotional high and there’s an energy and optimism that goes a long with it, according to Brackett. “When we’re feeling good and optimistic we tend to get past our fears about taking that next step in business because we don’t feel so isolated,” she said.

Whether you have a lot or a little time, experts say what’s most important to being a successful entrepreneur is knowing how to manage it.

“While it’s quite obvious how the needs of a family can cut into time, I see that issue get in the way of almost all the entrepreneurs I work with,” Haberfeld said. “Navigating one’s way through that is a big leveler of the field to making a successful entrepreneur.”

By Kate Meyers

July 2009

Same place, different mind-set—that’s the challenge of a staycation. How do you exist within the same four walls, with the same distractions—messy basement, couch and remote, computer, junk food, phone—yet create a relaxing, healthy, away-from-it-all experience? According to a 2009 AP-Gfk poll, one-third of Americans have already canceled a trip due to financial concerns, and more than half have no plans to hit the road this year. For the recession-squeezed, or the downright too-exhausted-to-travel, we tapped the experts for advice on how a typical family of four can have an invigorating (and inexpensive) vacation without leaving home.

Plan to check out—at least mentally

The best way to feel like you’re getting away in your own home? Create a vacation plan—and stick with it. “Think about what your intention is for the time off, write it down, then put it up on the fridge,” says Meredith Haberfeld, a New York–based life and career coach. If your goal is to feel connected to your family, set aside specific time for family-only activities, dinners, and outings. Research shows that family rituals (like vacations) boost parents’ and kids’ mental and physical health. But just because you’re not getting away doesn’t mean you can’t focus on together time—it just takes a bit more effort.

If you’re winging it, you’re setting your staycation up for failure. “You need to have some clear goals and set up a schedule,” says Ken Robbins, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin–Madison. “Most people do a poor job because they don’t plan and then they answer the phone, they do an errand, people stop over, and before they know it, the week is over and they’ve done what they usually do.”

Rediscover your hometown

For a true mental getaway, explore your surroundings with a visitor’s eye—it will keep you away from the pull of the daily grind. One great resource is discoveramerica.com. Simply plug in your location and you’ll find a list of nearby offerings for museums, galleries, libraries, parks, and unique businesses (think candymakers, tea producers, breweries, bakeries). City magazines or weekend newspaper sections are another great resource for in-town events such as outdoor concerts, movies in the park, and theater performances. Or head to the closest college town to take advantage of some free campus offerings, like dance performances, lectures, and more.

Create your own swanky destination

Can’t afford to get to Canyon Ranch? You can create nearly the same healthy experience at home. “If you’ve always wanted to take a yoga, water aerobics, or spinning class, schedule a day where everyone does a few things at the local rec center,” says Melissa Thornton, a marriage and family therapist in Trumbull, Conn. Many gyms and yoga studios offer a free introductory trial or a discount for your first class, or log on to gymticket.com to score free passes to gyms in your area.

Try a little in-house pampering and healthy dining for the ultimate spa experience. Light candles, put body oils and rose petals in a bath, and play some soothing music. Try at-home facials and pedicures for a relaxing mother-daughter group activity. And when your tummies start to rumble, gather your family and head to the kitchen. You can try hundreds of Canyon Ranch’s healthy recipes—like Chicken Panzella Salad or Artichoke and Tomato Flatbread—just by signing up (for free!) at the resort’s website.

Get moving

A healthy staycation should include one active element every day, but that doesn’t mean you should schlep your family to the gym. “Combine getting outside and exercising with something else to create an adventure,” says Mike Munro, a fitness consultant in New York City. He suggests taking a train ride to a new hiking trail, or combining a hike with a midday picnic. You can also turn something as simple as a bike ride into a scavenger hunt. “Just ride through the city and hunt for a picture in front of a certain building, a keychain from a different part of town, and a drawing of a local monument,” he adds.

For families with teenage children, try setting a team goal, like a 10K race, bike race, or group walk. Put together a three-month training schedule, place it on the fridge, and let each family member check off his or her daily workout. (A general rule of thumb: Every two weeks increase your training by at least 10% but no more than 25%.) “Having this calendar helps you focus, and seeing all those check marks becomes a visual indicator of your progress,” says Munro.

Choose your event ahead of time, then use your staycation to focus on training.

For extra motivation, try training for a charity event. Several studies have demonstrated the link between volunteering and greater mental and physical health. In fact, a recent large-scale Vanderbilt University study found that people of all ages who volunteered experienced increased physical health and decreased levels of depression.  Check out volunteermatch.org for opportunities near your home.

Get away from your gadgets

A staycation can quickly go south if you let yourself get caught up with daily tasks like checking your email and returning phone calls. If you really want to get away, you should act like you’re out of town. “For at least a few days put the auto responder on your email and leave a message on your phone saying that you’re on vacation,” says Robbins.

Make a family pact to turn off BlackBerrys, iPods, and computers. “This is a great one for mental health because it disconnects you from the responsibilities, stressors, and routine of everyday life,” says Thornton. If a complete turnoff is impossible, then set very specific limits—like once a day for 15 minutes. Technological turnoff is not only good for families, but it may also calm the gadget-addicted. Edward Hallowell, MD, author of CrazyBusy: Overbooked, Overstretched, and About to Snap, says that personalities who feel the need to answer every email can work themselves into a state of toxic stress. So use your staycation to unwind and disconnect.

Make food fun

Use your time off to experiment in the kitchen as a family. Chris Heuston, a Colorado-based nutritionist and mother of three, likes to walk or ride her brood to the farmers’ market and let everyone pick some toppings for a personal pizza. If you want to score some great deals—or even some free produce—head to the market toward the end of the day, just as the merchants start to pack up their trucks. Many merchants don’t want to lug unsold produce back home, so they’ll sell it to you for a super-low price (or even for free).

Try whipping up your own pizza dough, dividing it into individual pies, and letting your kids make their own. Heuston’s favorite toppings include olives, red peppers, and basil, or goat cheese, potatoes, and asparagus. And when it comes to the kitchen, healthy doesn’t have to mean boring. Heuston suggests Iron Chef lunches. Simply lay out multiple ingredients and let everyone create his or her own meal. Heuston is also a fan of grilling. It’s easy and there’s less clean up. “Try things that you wouldn’t necessarily grill, like romaine for a Caesar salad or tomatoes for a salsa,” she says. “My kids love to make homemade ice cream in the summer and we’ll grill peaches to mix in.”
Keep the mood light and relaxed

Things tacky, wacky, or out of the ordinary can be memorable. If you’re lucky enough to have a local drive-in movie theater, go in your pajamas. Visit an oddball local attraction—like the world’s largest popcorn ball in Sac City, Iowa—or have a family mini-golf tournament. Sure, you may wish you were headed to the beach or the Grand Canyon, but set a positive example for your kids by keeping the mood light. The effects could be long-lasting—research shows that kids who feel good about themselves are less likely to be materialistic.

Robyn Moreno

July 2009

In this economy, many people are just focused on getting (or keeping) a job - dropping their hopes of opening a business or landing a job they really enjoy. But we don’t have to “get caught up in the panic or settle for work we don’t like”, says Meredith Haberfeld a Career Coach and co-founder of the Institute for Coaching. Meredith sat down with me and shared the three ways people can get their dream jobs.

RM: In this economy, is going for your “dream job” still a realistic goal?

MH: Rather than focus on the job they want, people should first focus on what they want out of their “dream” job.

They should ask themselves questions like: “What do I love doing all day? Is it talking to people, being outdoors? What kind of people do I want to work with? What do I definitely not want to be doing - working for corporate America, staring at a computer all day? How much money am I committed to making?
To help be specific, people should write down the aspects of their dream jobs that really excite them. So if your dream job is to be a veterinarian, then the draw might be working with animals. Or if it’s being an interior designer, is it being creative and working in a beautiful a setting that attracts you? Once you’ve answered those questions, you have your “deal breaker list of professional values.”

And with that list you can check to see if it matches your “dream” job. Often people find that the occupation they thought they wanted (probably because it sounded fun or sexy) doesn’t quite match, while other jobs they hadn’t even considered now make sense. So in that way, you have really widened your net, creating many more job opportunities.

RM: OK, so now that I’ve expanded my job horizons, what’s next?

MH: Next is what I call the “Live Research Phase.” Start talking to people who have jobs in the industry you’re considering and find out what it’s really like. You can do this by contacting friends, family, people in your community or even sites like Facebook or LinkedIn. You’ll be shocked at how much people actually want to help you.
So once you get on the phone or in a meeting with someone who’s in the field you’re interested in, find out what that world is really like. Ask them what they love and what they hate about their job. Ask them what are the things they thought that career was going to be like that it’s not, and what things do they like about it that they never expected. And just straight ask them for advice. You’ll find that after these conversations, more careers will be crossed off your list, while others might emerge.

What’s really great about this process is that you’ll find that the network you developed in this “research phase” is the same network that parlays you into the next job.

RM: So now I have a good understanding of my dream job, what’s next?

MH: The final piece is to understand the “Momentum Equation.” The “momentum equation” is that it takes a lot of energy to produce a new result. So it might take 100 units of energy to yield ONE positive result. For instance, you might spend weeks sending out resumes, responding to ads, writing cover letters, etc., and might just get one response. This is where many people get stuck. The name of the game here is to understand and be prepared that things might be slow going. It’s ok to be disappointed, call up a friend and biotch or whatever you need to do. But the important thing is to not give up, because the equation will change.
Soon it will only take 50 units of energy to yield one result, and eventually even less. It is building and keeping this momentum that will make the difference in your career, because even in this difficult economy everyday people are getting jobs they love. And so can you.

Meredith Haberfeld is an executive coach who’s guided entrepreneurs and leading executives from institutions such as Johns Hopkins University, Forbes, JP Morgan Chase, Credit Suisse, FuseTV and the World Health Organization. She also works as a life coach for assisting individuals, couples, and families in designing and living extraordinary lives.

August 2009
By Laura House

If you’ve recently been part of a “reduction in workforce,” consider that pink slip your ticket to freelance freedom. Lindsey Pollak, a consultant and self-proclaimed Gen Y career and workplace expert, predicts that “self-employment is the wave of the future because companies just aren’t that loyal to their employees anymore.” Though freelance life may have its stresses, Meredith Haberfeld, a career coach at the Institute for Coaching, points out that “designing your own days isn’t a bad perk.” Here, their advice for getting yourself out there so your company can grow. Some tips may seem like common sense: You know you need a business card, but we tell you how to actually get one.

1 Make a business card
This is how people will get in touch with you, so list every possible outlet—phone, cell phone, e-mail, website. But keep it professional and lose the wacky e-mail address (sorry, cutiepie_123@gmail.com). “A short tag line is fine,” says Haberfeld, “but omit mission statements, affirmations or hokey quotes.” VistaPrint (vistaprint.com, 42 designs are available for free, more customizable options start at 250 for $19.99) and Design Your Own Card (designyourowncard.com, 500 for $30) are thrifty good-quality options. Or splurge and get sleek cards from Moo (moo.com/en, 50 for $21.99).

2 Tighten up your résumé
People seem to be ignoring that once-golden rule about keeping résumés to one page. Read it here—two (or more) pages are not acceptable. “It’s hard to get someone to look at even the first paragraph of your résumé,” Haberfeld says, “so the shorter it is, the more likely it will hold someone’s attention.” Keep it brief, but Pollak also cautions against gaping holes between projects; fill them in with volunteer or temp jobs.

3 Build a website
A Web presence is crucial (just ask Julia Allison), but not everyone knows the ins and outs of HTML. If that includes you, don’t worry. Our experts suggest bartering for services. “A lot of Web designers are looking to gain experience, especially since business is slow right now,” says Pollak. “If you have a skill like writing, photography or bookkeeping, you can trade your services for theirs.” Elance (elance.com), Craigslist (craigslist.org) and Guru (guru.com) are great places to seek out a Web buff.

4 Network
Once your materials are in order, it’s time to start making yourself known. Take advantage of social-networking sites, join professional organizations and attend events in your field. Haberfeld challenges freelancers to establish three new contacts every day. Even if you don’t make a business deal, at least you’re now on their radar—and you had an excuse to leave the apartment.

5 Hold a mini focus group
Find out what potential clients think about you. Haberfeld recommends running your brand concept by three or four potential clients to gather feedback. Get their honest opinion of your services and how you present them, and make changes accordingly. But no matter the results, don’t get discouraged. “There is an effort equation when starting something new,” Haberfeld says. “For every 100 units of effort you put in, you can expect one result. Put the energy in, consistently, no matter what, and the results start flowing in.”

When Is It OK to Bad Mouth Your Job?
June 17, 2009
By Eleni Himaras

Having a bad boss or an awful job is one of the most frustrating situations there is. But is it ever acceptable, or beneficial, to vent such feelings in a professional setting?
The answer, unfortunately, is no.

“It reliably comes back and bites you, even if you think you’re speaking with someone who is ‘safe,’” says Meredith Haberfeld, the New York-based co-founder of Meredith Haberfeld Coaching and the Institute for Coaching.

Of course certain situations, such as exit interviews or questions from a new boss about your previous employer, are inevitable. It is possible to be honest and constructive at the same time, Haberfeld says.

1. Leave Emotions at the Door

Let the emotional aspect of the situation simmer before discussing it, says Haberfeld.

“Try as we might to be ‘professionals,’ we are also sentient beings and when our feelings are hurt, it has an impact, even in business,” she says. “Our feelings cloud our perspective, and our feedback is indisputably obscured by that.”
If the emotions aren’t cooling on their own, Haberfeld says to analyze the situation with the help of a friend or professional.

“If you notice you still feel an edge toward the place you left or are leaving, find someone to help you dismantle the story you’ve constructed about the place or the people,” she says. “This will lead you toward real insightful feedback about what worked and didn’t.”

If a question comes up in an exit interview that rubs against still raw emotions, Haberfeld says to qualify the answer by saying, “I know I’m hurt and upset, and my insights are probably not as accurate as they are going to be when I have a little distance from this.”

This response, she says, shows a level of maturity that will go a long way.

2. Keep it Short

If asked a direct question by a potential employer, Haberfeld says it is best to have a concise reply already practiced.
“It should be honest, balanced positive and negative to the former employer, and brief,” she says. “Practice this in advance so you can keep it simple and short.”

Sticking to this pared down response will keep the question from sticking out to your new boss. Candidates or employees who go into a full-blown rehashing of the ordeal typically come out looking worse than one who says very little.

“Most times, if you’re giving justifications or giving explanations for things that make someone else sound bad, it’s perceived that there was something negative going on that you aren’t being responsible for,” she says.
Every employer and company has some positive aspects, she reminds.

3. Vent Online, Carefully
Venting is healthy and necessary towards moving on, Haberfeld says. Thanks to the magic of the Internet, there are places to let frustrations fly.

LayOffMoveOn.com is a web site where the recently unemployed can share not only horror stories of his or her previous job, but the inspirational stories of getting past it. Chicago-based designer Jessica Lybeck founded the anonymous site after she was laid off from a part time position at an architecture firm.

“LayOffMoveOn is a blog cluster devoted to connecting people with tips to survive and thrive in this economy,” the site reads. “The conditions are tough…but DAMN we’re tougher.”

There are also generalized sites like JobVent.com that allow users to gripe by specific company or location.

Just remember that you may not be the only one scoping out these various web sites, so take a new twist on your mother’s advice: If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, make sure they can’t use the Internet to trace it back to you. Leave out identifying details about yourself or any specific situations, and definitely leave the names out of it. This is just a venting ground, not a place for public retribution.

Career Transition, Career Choices

By Career Coach, Meredith Haberfeld

Whether you’re about to be dumped out of your current position or bored to screaming point by work that used to be gratifying, one way to stay ahead of the unsettling see-saw of a career transition is careful preparation.

Most people find life transitions intimidating, especially on the work front. But now is actually a prime time to lean toward the next fulfilling adventure in your career.

Here are 10 steps that will help get you where you want to be going:

1.    Stay in reality: You need a well thought-out financial plan for your transition, including the time frame by which you want to be in your next job, and how long you can freely explore without running low on funds.  Important: take the time to do the math up front.  If you have six months worth of financial padding then the plan has to accommodate being situated in a new job where your basic life needs are taken care of in that amount of time.  (That’s not to say you can’t pursue a parallel path if your savings are insufficient, of course, but you may have to stick with your current employer or find an interim position that pays the bills while continuing to work toward your goal.) Don’t be impatient, be strategic.

2.    Hone in: Do a brainstorming-around your ideal dream job to hone down career choices.

a. Write out the elements you like in your previous work (e.g. being with people, exercising leadership, doing email, etc).

b. What elements do you want in your career that you have not yet had in your day to day job or from your total experience of working?

c. What elements do you want to not have in your next career?

d. How much money are you committed to making?

e. What jobs have you loved? And for each one, write out:

1. what you loved about it

2. anything you didn’t love about it

f. What are all the careers you’ve thought of in the last 5 years?
(Don’t worry about whether or not you have a PhD.  People think insularly.  Your task here is to broaden your thinking.)

1. Then, go back and make a bulleted list of each of the career choices, defining what it is about each career choice that interests you.

Examples:  Veterinarian–the pleasure of healing, being with animals.
Interior Designer—tapping into my artistic side, creating beautiful things and settings, working with people.

Notice how this leads you to a list of your own VALUES in your work life.

Choose the top 5-8 of the career choices that are most important to you. Now you have your list of ‘deal-breaker’ VALUES that must be there for you in your next job.
Then you can brainstorm and begin a fact-hunting mission to develop a written list of the handful of jobs/career choices that are a match for your ‘deal-breaker’ list.

3.    Soak up information like a sponge: Talk to everyone appropriate (which will be more people than you first imagine) about your interest in transitioning your career.  Most people are chasing a mirage, and far too often they make career choices based on fantasy thinking or simply on poor information.  Also our relationship to work is inevitably altered as we grow and change—the average person often makes several career changes over the course of a lifetime.  So being informed about such an important next step is vital.

“Live research” allows you to hone in on the very real elements you want to move way from and gravitate to the ones that you find match your desires. Get the word out to the people you know about what you’re interested in pursuing and ask them specifically who they know that would be useful for you to speak with.  Find every opportunity you can to talk with people who are in the jobs or fields for career choices you’re considering.

This is one of the MOST CRITICAL elements of a successful career transition and to make the right career choices, yet it is the piece that is most often missing.  Not only does this process refine your decision making, but the ancillary benefit is that the very individuals you reach out to for your “live research” become a critical part of your network that ultimately parlays you into your next job and career.

4.    Talk to people:  Get away from the computer!  Through every phase of your entire transition, authentically cultivate relationships.  This is the single most powerful force leading to successful job transitions.  Nurture and expand your network of friends. Don’t come off like you’re only interested in selling yourself but be sincere, get on their radar screen by fostering a genuine connection.

Go to industry conferences, parties, cocktails, morning breakfasts; and create and develop relationships.  Ask not what others can do for you, but what you can do for them.  This reciprocity will have you be “top of mind” when the right opportunity presents itself.

5.    The art of re-positioning yourself: If some of your career choices are in a new industry, spend time getting extremely clear about your “portable value”.  Know and be able to concisely communicate your unique worth and just how your skills will benefit your future industry and new employer.   Practice succinctly articulating - in your ‘elevator pitch’, as well as your resume - how your distinctive talents, abilities, and accomplishments perfectly position you for what you’re seeking to do.  Every person’s experience can be re-packaged to meet the demands of a new industry.  Spending the time to do this right makes an enormous difference     between success and failure.

6.    Find your ROI:  When preparing to look for a job in a new industry, clarify and focus on the measurable contributions to the bottom-line result you’ve achieved for your former or current employers, and show how it can work anywhere. Present your significant skills and explain how you’re ready to out-compete even in another industry. Every time you are asked “What do you do or want to be doing?” answer this question instead, “Why should you pay my salary?”

7.    Action: Daily action is required. Create a strategic plan for your transition; with daily, weekly, and monthly goals.  Start with where you want to end up:  figure out what you need to know about your new career and each possible career choice, and what you need to do to get there. Build a pipeline of actions from there. Actions can be small; but be in motion.

8.    Build in accountability: Get a partner to hold you to your plan and keep your word, without regard for disappointments or your mood.  Ask people to champion you when you face set-backs, but to hold you accountable for sticking to your daily actions and driving yourself forward.  Too often people get bogged down by disappointments and then buy into in the belief that the work world is too tough right now.  Daily actions that stretch you, and maintaining accountability to your plan not only reduce overwhelm and anxiety, they’re a powerful impetus to get you to your ultimate goal.

9.    Momentum: There is an “effort equation” when starting something new; for example, for every 100 ‘units’ of effort you put in, you can expect 1 result.  As you gain momentum, this equation improves, to perhaps 1 result for only 50 ‘units’ of effort in.  This means…play…put the energy in.  If you’re impatient, you may get discouraged by not seeing the results as quickly as you want.  But it is mathematical.  Put the energy in, consistently, no matter what, and the results start flowing in.

10.    Courage: When setting out to do something different you may have a crisis of confidence; a feeling like “I am a charlatan” or “There’s no way I can pull this off!”  There is often a period of time when you are gaining credibility within yourself.  Have patience during this phase and know this period is finite.  In the mean time, fake it.  Don’t be wishy-washy: when introducing yourself - statements like “I’m trying to be an author” or “I’m sort of working on becoming a therapist” sabotage you.   Get in the habit of saying, “I’m a writer” or “I’m a chef”.  Hear yourself say the words–listen to what you are and be proud. Once you get your feet under you for long enough, your this turns to genuine confidence.

A final note: The days of linear careers are over.  Be pragmatic; take all your differing agendas into account, including how much you need to be making, what you love and hate doing, the legacy you want to leave, the transition time you have available for making a career move.  This will help you make the right career choices.

When you finally free up your thinking and accept that reality and desire can be accounted for – you discover so much more is possible – and you get to real actionable answers.  Now it becomes a matter of breaking up the transition into ‘Lego pieces’; individual manageable blocks that build on one other to get you out of your head and into action, and in the direction you want to take.  The horizon then becomes limitless.

To contact Meredith, click here on Contact Page or call 866-599-6535.

Love your job? Then save it!
Jia Lynn Yang
February 2009

“No matter what your position, contribute to the bottom line.

Don’t wait until your company says it wants to cut costs.”
-Career Coach Meredith Haberfeld

If you’re worried about getting laid off, here’s some consolation: So is everyone else. Follow these do’s and don’ts to raise the odds that your job stays, well, yours.

DO take credit… but don’t “walk around with a big neon sign that says I’M GREAT,” says career coach Marie McIntyre. “Look for opportunities to let people know what you’re doing.” One good strategy: Create a paper trail by copying your boss on e-mail (selectively!). And periodically take the initiative to send a summary of what you’re working on.

DO be a team player…No Matter What your position, contribute to the bottom line. Don’t wait until your company says it wants to cut costs says Career Coach Meredith Haberfeld.

DON’T ask for a raise or a promotion. Be patient, and be grateful for now that you’ve got a job.

DO volunteer for more work. Companies are making cuts, so someone needs to pick up the extra work. Do it with a smile, and you’re a dream employee.

DO arrive early and stay late. This is obvious and no longer optional. Make your commitment visible by pulling long hours. Also, lay off the text messaging or personal calls during business hours.

DON’T telecommute. “[Bosses] tend to fire people they don’t like or don’t know,” says Stephen Viscusi, author of “Bulletproof Your Job.” Working from home or part-time makes it harder for your boss to know you, so avoid it if you can.

DO chat up your boss and your boss’s boss. If you’re at the cafeteria, strike up a conversation. “Executives love to talk about business, and they’re often as uneasy talking with you as you are with them,” says McIntyre. Be ready with a question, like “I just read about something our competitor’s doing. What’s your take on that?”

DON’T be eccentric. Now’s the time to fit in completely. “Buy some Crest White Strips. Look like you belong there,” says career expert Stephen Viscusi. “Don’t wear perfume or cologne, because maybe you’re wearing the perfume of your boss’s ex-wife.”

DO feel your boss’s pain. If you feel as if you’re being marginalized, talk with your manager and find out what his or her priorities are these days. Ask your boss, “What are your biggest goals right now, and how can I help?”

DON’T be high maintenance. Even if layoffs are necessary, they can also serve as an excuse for companies to fire people they wanted to get rid of anyway. Why? The most frequent issue is attitude: People who are demanding, difficult, or whiny, or otherwise take up too much of their manager’s energy, are the first to go.
If you need something from your boss, there’s a right and a wrong way to ask. “Use the magic phrase, ‘I really want to make this work,’” suggests Deborah Brown-Volkman, a career coach who specializes in counseling financial services professionals. Be clear you’re committed to finding a solution that helps the company. “The worst approach is ‘I don’t have this, I don’t have that,’” Brown-Volkman says. Instead, show how your business will benefit from a fix. If you can’t, then let it go. And always be ready with a solution or two.

The bottom line: Make your boss’s job easier, not harder.

DO stay informed. Set a Google alert for your company so that you’re up on what’s going on. You’ll have a better sense for when layoffs are coming. Plus, smart employees know how their piece of the business fits into the larger picture of what’s happening at the company.

DON’T gossip about the company. It’s tempting to compare notes with co-workers, but obsessing about your fears will only distract you from being productive. “It’s a diversion of your energy, and whatever answers you’re coming up with aren’t that helpful,” says Meredith Haberfeld.

DO a self-review. Try this exercise: Imagine your boss, your boss’s boss, and the HR director all sitting in a room, categorizing people. What are they going to say about you? How much do they value your work?

DON’T panic! There may still be a way to save your job if your boss tells you you’re being laid off. “These are the words you always hear: ‘Listen, we have to let you go - it’s a numbers thing,’” says Viscusi. He suggests negotiating and offering to take less pay or work fewer days in the week.
“If they still say no,” he says, “now you’re calling their bluff, allowing yourself to open a bigger severance envelope.” That’s because if a company has trouble explaining why it fired you, there’s room for you to sue for wrongful termination. Some managers might decide it’s easier to throw some money in your direction now than risk losing more down the road.

Meredith Haberfeld
January 2009
Meredith Haberfeld

Oh, no, it’s the “R” word! Currently heard and seen everywhere. Call it what you will — recession, slump, downturn, it has everybody edgy and fearing the worst.

It doesn’t help that we’re bombarded with messages that promote financial and job insecurity. The media thrives on perpetuating anxiety and fear. C-R-I-S-I-S.

How do we ride the wave when it seems the customary trappings of our lives may be at risk?

A good starting point is to embrace reality while understanding that the nature of your life is not static. The reality of today will not be the actuality of tomorrow or next week.

Tips for Tinkering with Happiness
Meet Challenges Head On
Meet challenges head on, not from a place of fear or intimidation but with clarity, daring, grace and innovation.
If there’s something real that you’re avoiding — or if there are eventualities you should plan for, take action to begin dealing with them today. Even if it’s just a small action. Get in action.
If you’re dwelling on your fear of what might happen in the future, bring yourself back to the present and deal with what is before you — head on. When we get lost in what should have happened (past) or what we fear will happen (future) — we spoil the only place we are actually experiencing life — right now, this moment. Come vacation here in the present, it’s nice.
Accept Uncertainty and Change
Wish as we might, we don’t live in a static and unchanging world. Change is the constant. And we human beings don’t generally do that well with change. We find it upsetting. But the truth is, everything about life is uncertain, so we may as well embrace it.

Choose Wisely
How you deal with difficulties is a choice. Your choice. You may resent that, it may even stump or anger you, but it’s the truth. Choose carefully what you’re focused on. Are you replaying bad possible future scenarios in your mind? Do you choose words like “terrible” or “crisis” (instead of, for example “wild”, “volatile” and “uncertain”)? Are you fixated on re-circulating thoughts of possibly losing your job? Are you spending your day staring at the stock market on the computer and feeling terrible? If it’s not leading to positive action, and it feels bad, cut it out. How you deal with anything is YOUR choice.
Choose carefully how you’re framing facts, and what conversations you’re spending time in. If you’re having trouble with this, get help.

Let Go of Your Crummy Stories
Happy or sad or cold or warm are all different points on the graph of life. What’s so bad about feeling? If you don’t attach a big old story to it, feelings come and then go. Sad, scared, happy. Where we get into trouble is making up stories (that we think are capital “T” True) and sticking them onto the feeling — “this is terrible”, “we won’t be okay,” “I should have known better.” It’s the story you latch onto the feeling that’s the problem. Announcement: your stories are just your interpretation. They are not capital “T” True. You could loosen your grip on them. If you just let the feeling come and go and don’t attach a story to it, it washes right through. Practice this — it enables you to take effective action — and it works miracles.

Have Fun Even While You’re on a Financial Diet
Have fun even while you’re tightening the belt. Write out what you’d love to be doing without regard for money and then identify what the underlying desire is. You can then start to discover ways to fulfill that desire with whatever is financially appropriate. For example, say you want to go to St. Barts…but given your bank account, this is just not the year for that. Take a look past the specifics for the underlying desire, in this case, for example it may be to relax, let go of your daily concerns and to unwind. Then look for how else that desire can be met within your current budget and realities; maybe it’s asking a friend if you and your family can stay at their country cabin an hour away for a weekend, or negotiating with your spouse a day of an upcoming weekend that you can be “off duty” and use that day to do whatever pleases you. You do not have to deprive yourself of fun and things you love just because you’re on a financial diet. Stretch your brain just a little — you’ll discover whatever the underlying longing — you can fulfill it completely with less mullah.

Don’t Play in the Dirt
Nurture your friendships; and choose them carefully. Share fun and play, but don’t fan the flames of anxiety. Listen, give back, be a good ally. If you have people around you dwelling in doomsday thinking, be compassionate that this is where they are in this moment, even offer up a different perspective if you like, but don’t hang out and play in that mudpit. That mud ends up all over you.

Thanksgiving Ain’t Over
Real gratitude and appreciation for all we do have is a major contributor to peace of mind. And I’m not talking about a fake nod in this direction. Be grateful for what you can actually be grateful for. Kiss your difficulties on both cheeks! Use their sharp edge to get you off your keister and leave a thank you note for past experiences, for the journey from there to now.

Move Your Bod
Strengthen yourself physically, play ball, chase the dog, dance with a child, do whatever it takes to get your energy moving in ways that delight you and give you flexibility and endurance. The challenges you may face are better dealt with when you’re feeling at your physical best.

Take a Walk
Get out in Nature. It’s no cliche that green spaces calm and nurture. They also inform. Trees exist within their cycles, budding, blossoming and leaf dropping, nothing is lost. Wall Street might disdain such a simple lesson but you can gain from it when you realize that abundance ebbs and flows but is always present, always operating on a natural principle of plenty.

Invest
Nurture and sustain yourself. Don’t let the turbulence out there make you feel impoverished and helpless. Make other investments elsewhere, such as in the emotional and spiritual parts of your life. Be anchored to the sacred (whatever you perceive that to be). Pray, meditate, be still in good solitude that you might connect to yourself in deep and powerful ways.

Remember:
1. The sky is not falling. Yes, the economy is wild, and the world is uncertain. The truth is there is nothing so terrible about an uncertain world. When you peel back the veil, that’s actually the very nature of life.
2. Misery can paralyze and drain you, and not only in difficult times. You are always choosing your interpretation of what’s happening and what it’s going to mean to you.
3. Stop wishing and hoping things were different. They’re not. Choose a helpful view of reality and deal with it.
4. The reality of today will not be the actuality of tomorrow or next week.
When you are fretting and fearful, you are living in an imagined world of a bad possible future; railing against the human ail of not being able to control everything. When you stay in R-E-A-L-I-T-Y about what is happening in the moment, you’ll notice the present is actually survivable, even if it is not what you want.

But you can then think clearly, sleep soundly, and create powerful action.

Meredith is a Life Coach and co-founder of Meredith Haberfeld Coaching and The Institute for Coaching.

May 4, 2008
By Matt Reeder

So, you’re one of the lucky ones. Name on your office door. Extra-glossy business cards. A bit of seniority.
Think again.

While recent MBA grads prowling for work face the unenviable task of breaking into the financial ranks for the first time (gasp!), the barrage of layoffs that’s spread into the upper ranks of the industry in recent months shows that title-toting execs face a formidable challenge of their own - protecting their hides. The recession’s official, more jobs will be cut and there’s no reason to assume your’s won’t be one of them.

With such rosy thoughts in mind, the folks over at BusinessWeek put together a helpful video detailing some of the practical steps you can take to protect your job. One suggestion, courtesy of executive coach Meredith Haberfeld, is to throw conventional wisdom out the window.

Keeping a low profile during tough times, she says, does nothing to secure your future. “Work your tail off,” she insists.”But make your successes and results visible. Not empty results.” She also suggests you find ways to show you care about the company’s bottom line, not just your own.

Elsewhere, the Harvard Business Review offers slightly less selfless advice. “Machiavellian as it may seem, holding on to your job when the economy softens is a matter of cool strategic planning,” write Janet Banks and Diane Coutu. And in addition to thinking like a survivor, they, too, encourage old-fashioned hard work. “If you’re not already wearing multiple hats, start imagining how you can support your company by leveraging experience your boss may know nothing about.”